Quantum Quipsters Pillows

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

'What I meant by 'quark' in 'Finnegans Wake' was a hypothetical particle with a fractional electric charge.

Heisenberg Witness Protection Program

Inside the Large Hadron Collider

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'Is the water cold?'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'I come from the future - any questions?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'

Official Seal

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

Schrodinger's kittens

The Quantum Mechanic...

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

'Actually I started out in quantum mechanics, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn.'

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

"We've agreed to count it as both a wave and a particle for tax purposes."

Neutrinos travel faster than light!

Schrodinger's Weekly Shop.

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

Quantum Breakup

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'