Quantum Querent Gifts

'Oh, thunderation! Now everyone will want one and every little, rinky dink nation on earth will claim the inalienable right to own one. And the Chinese will pirate it and flood the market . . .'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

Complexity Made Simple.

'I come from the future - any questions?'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

"OMG! A portal to another panel."

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

Time Travel Research Lab

Schrodinger's kittens

Stephen Hawking

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

The Quantum Mechanic...

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

Buy tickets here for lecture on Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I can tell you the time or the place, but not both.

'Does My Bum Look Big In This Dimension?'

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute - Calls will be answered in random order.'

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."