Purrfect Pair Gifts

There had always been three in the relationship...

"I hate it..."

"It get it – you're hungry."

Cats on the couch.

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

Cats

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

'I'm sorry, but the position of Contentment Provider has been filled.'

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

Persian

"I know that birds of a feather should flock together, but I like hanging out with you guys..."

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

'We know you have a cat...'

"Don't get any ideas. It's a sweater, not a scratching post!"

"Here's a nice white wine. Goes great with grooming and hairballs.

Cat's Valentine

'Wow, you really have Tabby excited now! I can almost hear her breathe!'

"Congratulations. I just need your initials here."

When cats bring gifts.

'I thought shaving would make me look sexy. Now I just bump into things.'

I heart my cat. I spayed my cat.

"Oh, yeah! A little to the right. . . down a bit. . . Ahhh!"

Cat Lady

Kitty's Clock, each hour marked by a cat's face and the reminders, 'Scratch me, Brush me, Feed me, Play with me, Look at me, Pet me, Find me, Talk to me, Feed me, Rub me, Hold me.'

"Dead rats, dead birds, dead skinks, I've tried all kinds of gifts, but there's no pleasing my mistress really..."

101 uses of a dead cat: armchair

"Oh, my family used to be rich alright: my grandfather was not referred to as a "house cat", but as a "grand manor cat"..."

Cat shows off new jacket, saying: 'Don't worry, it's fake furball.'

I love my cat.

Art for Cats

"I swear, it wasn't me who called the council about your incessant barking: it was my master!"

"That one there is Marvin's personal pussycat."