Purr-fect Pals Gifts

"Honey I don't think Muffy likes that new cat food."

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Cats on the couch.

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

Cats

"I hate it..."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

'I'm sorry, but the position of Contentment Provider has been filled.'

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

Persian

"Quick conference...this is rhubarb pie...do we like it or not?"

'We know you have a cat...'

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

There had always been three in the relationship...

'Wow, you really have Tabby excited now! I can almost hear her breathe!'

Cat's Valentine

"Here's a nice white wine. Goes great with grooming and hairballs.

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

'As we all know your deceased Anna Clara was a devoted cat lover...'

When cats bring gifts.

'I thought shaving would make me look sexy. Now I just bump into things.'

I heart my cat. I spayed my cat.

'I was hurt in a boating accident. I tripped over a rack of oars at a sporting goods store.'

Cat Lady

"The meaning of "crazy"? Well, it means "kind and caring" of course, like in the expression "crazy cat lady"..."

"Oh, yeah! A little to the right. . . down a bit. . . Ahhh!"

Kitty's Clock, each hour marked by a cat's face and the reminders, 'Scratch me, Brush me, Feed me, Play with me, Look at me, Pet me, Find me, Talk to me, Feed me, Rub me, Hold me.'

'Pedants Society meeting here Friday...'

"Yep, that's a new sign: I've just finished my law-degree..."

I love my cat.

101 uses of a dead cat: armchair