Purr-fect Friend Gifts

'One lifetime with him was enough!'

'It's happened - I've run out of saliva.'

'I thought shaving would make me look sexy. Now I just bump into things.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

Shelter Cat Nap

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Cats on the couch.

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

"I hate it..."

Cats

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

Persian

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'We know you have a cat...'

"Here's a nice white wine. Goes great with grooming and hairballs.

'Wow, you really have Tabby excited now! I can almost hear her breathe!'

There had always been three in the relationship...

Cat's Valentine

'As we all know your deceased Anna Clara was a devoted cat lover...'

"Your next life will be so much better."

When cats bring gifts.

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

I heart my cat. I spayed my cat.

"Oh, yeah! A little to the right. . . down a bit. . . Ahhh!"

Cat Lady

"Oh, no thanks, I'm more of a cat person."

"Like a duck. Calm and placid on the surface, but paddling like hell. That's me!"

Kitty's Clock, each hour marked by a cat's face and the reminders, 'Scratch me, Brush me, Feed me, Play with me, Look at me, Pet me, Find me, Talk to me, Feed me, Rub me, Hold me.'

"That one there is Marvin's personal pussycat."

"Dead rats, dead birds, dead skinks, I've tried all kinds of gifts, but there's no pleasing my mistress really..."

101 uses of a dead cat: armchair

I love my cat.