Puppy Mentor Gifts

"My advice is to learn all the tricks you can while you're young."

'...And you always bark to warn your people about burglars, thieves, other dogs, cats, bugs, dust motes, leaves....'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Pavlov's Puppy

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Dogs Bring Slippers.

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

'Forget about your pride Son: We're expected to beg...'

'No, I said 'sit'.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'