Dog Manners Mentor Gifts

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"You keep impeccable time."

Obedience School Graduation

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

'For Heaven's sake Son, you're embarassing me! This is a feeding frenzy!'

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."

'I hope you're not expecting a treat for this.'

Dog Park. Ernie, let me help you navigate the dog park safely. Thanks. Never ask the dalmatian if you can play "Connect the Dots." Don't discuss international politics with the Siberian Husky, or make jokes around the Greyhound. The Saint Bernard does not find it funny if you ask for his blessing. And most importantly, unless you schedule is clear for a week ... yeah? Don't say "yes" when the Lab asks you to play with that ball with him!

'Junior is just a little confused.'

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Remember to be nice to people on your way up. You might need them to do hard time for you later.'

Preschools for Dogs

"We've got to get him some bones...this is the third TV remote Lucky's buried this week!"

Sean Connery's Dog Training School

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch, not kvetch."

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

"Tom, mentoring is more than encouraging people to be just like you."

"Mum says I've got to thank you if you gave me anything."

Dog catcher sets trap at fire hydrant to catch stray dog.

'What do you mean I eat like a pig? I AM a pig.'

"People come to the park to relax. If you want to run wild yelling your head off, wait until we're at a nice restaurant."

"Goodness gracious no, I didn't go to a public puppy-school: I went to an elite private puppy-school..."

Although Bowser did seem to understand the concept of being house-trained.....

'Timmy! Stop jumping on Penny's couch!. . . It's cheap!'

"Bad dog!"