Puppy Educator Gifts

"Goodness gracious no, I didn't go to a public puppy-school: I went to an elite private puppy-school..."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Pavlov's Puppy

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Dogs Bring Slippers.

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'Forget about your pride Son: We're expected to beg...'

'No, I said 'sit'.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Obedience School: When Dogs Earn Their Master's Degree.

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"I said SLIPPERS!"

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

Dog Quiz

'I'm still trying to decide if I should join the workforce or get my masters in staying.'

"You call it training, I call it an apprenticeship. Now pay up."

Remember, he's simple - It's not WHAT you bark at him, it's the TONE you use when you bark at him.

Puppy puts deodorant on the slippers.

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'