Canine Educator Gifts

Shifting the blame 101.

Discipline at Doggy School

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"Don't even think about it."

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

'Trust me, if you get them as kittens, you learn to love them...'

Guide Dogs

"Since this is your first time seeing a rhino, just a friendly note: that’s my horn, not a giant pimple!"

Suddenly Harry regrets ever using anything other than dog treats to motivate his team.

'Today, students, we will discuss lameness in fish.'

A cat leading a dog leading a man

God's Miracles.

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

'Thank goodness it's Friday!'

Give a dog a bad name.....

"Goodness gracious no, I didn't go to a public puppy-school: I went to an elite private puppy-school..."

'Oscaar? Where aaaare you? Portrait time!'

Treacherous moments in evolution

'I told him to get down.'

"Bad dog!"

'Son, you're old enough now to know the truth...The red dot...It isn't real.'

'If a camel can go 500 miles without water... how far can he go with water?'

The Four Stages of Cruelty - First stage.

Rockwell School

'Let's act in turn, Mrs. Jones. Before we start teaching your little rascal not to bite the neighbours' kids we should teach him not to eat them.'

Visual Gag: A snake reading a Fang Shui book. The snake's version of 'Feng' Shui

'Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!!'

"Master adores me and saves every dump..."

"Wow, the Puppy School curriculum has changed a lot since we were there: canine history, bone-burying record keeping, farting etiquette. . ."

Totally dogmatic