Pet Educator Gifts

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'Bert's dog training.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Agility God

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"A little help, please."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Don't even think about it."

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."