Kitty Educator Gifts

'Son, you're old enough now to know the truth...The red dot...It isn't real.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'We know you have a cat.'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

Benjamin Franklin

"Have you made any retirement plans?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

Cat yoga

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"So Dave - did you get lucky? Dave....? Dave...?"

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

'George, kitty got tired of waiting for us to let her in.'

Discipline at Doggy School

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

'Your son William has a rare form of dyslexia.'

Cat-traction.....!

School for the Blind and School for the Inattentive.

'See, it's very good cat food!'

Treacherous moments in evolution

"Goodness gracious no, I didn't go to a public puppy-school: I went to an elite private puppy-school..."

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

Cat Philosophers

'He found a lap he likes and don't want to give it up.'

'Couldn't you just give out gold stars like the other teachers, Miss Price?'

The Four Stages of Cruelty - First stage.