Kitty Counselor Gifts

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

My Bowl Is Empty.

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

Zen Kitten

'What are we having tonight, kitties? Fish, beef or the Bistro special?'

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

"The thing is we lived in L.A.,...we never even needed mittens!"

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

Fido phones

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."