Kitty Counsellor Gifts

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

My Bowl Is Empty.

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

Two cats making a heart shape with their tails

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

'What are we having tonight, kitties? Fish, beef or the Bistro special?'

Zen Kitten

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

"The thing is we lived in L.A.,...we never even needed mittens!"

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks