Kitty Coach Gifts

'No more litter boxes for us! We trained the cat to use the toilet.'

Cats on a Treadmill.

"No no, I said sit!!"

Mittens is challenged by the string.

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

Self-Employment

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

Cat chess

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Zen Kitten

'What are we having tonight, kitties? Fish, beef or the Bistro special?'

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

Cat boxer

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

'I think it's time we told kitty she was adopted.'

'I've had four litters and I don't get as much as a head butt on Mothers Day.'

"It's a great property: the highlights are three cat-flaps, two litter trays, two scratch poles and of course, no bath..."

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

'You're needed at the can opener.'

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

"There he goes, filling their heads with ludicrous conspiracy theories about microchip implants and mass sterilisation programmes…"

'We named him 'Raisin Bran.' Every morning in the litter box, it's two scoops!'

"I have to go – it's time to feed the cat."

Singer's shadow covering it's ears.

Professional Parents

"CLEAN MY LITTER BOX!"