Quirky Cat Coach Gifts

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

The practical psychopath

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'This next song is about waking up your owner when's it's time to eat. It's called 'Butt in the Face.''

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Self-Employment

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

Great mouser!

"Sit!"

'My cat is very unpredictable. I never know when he's going to ignore me.'

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

A cat tamer

Prince longed for the good old days when dogs were dogs.

"Stay sharp, wait for my signal and do not, no matter how tempting, pet that cat on the stomach!"

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

"Thinking outside the box? You bet I am!"

'Please, Pookie, just one time...pleeaase..Beg!'

Cat sharpening claws on grindstone

'Guess what, Squaw? Me finally teach Running Dog to fetch my moccasins.'

"I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"Have you considered the potential advantages of having a professional coach?"

"We have to buy her a good scratching post. She keeps going to a search engine and scratching a photo of one. We also have to buy another monitor."

'Yes, the old lady left me all her worldly wealth. But what I really wanted was her liver.'