Puppy Mentor Pillows

"My advice is to learn all the tricks you can while you're young."

'...And you always bark to warn your people about burglars, thieves, other dogs, cats, bugs, dust motes, leaves....'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Pavlov's Puppy

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Dogs Bring Slippers.

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'Forget about your pride Son: We're expected to beg...'

"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."

'No, I said 'sit'.'

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"I said SLIPPERS!"

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'