Puppy Trainer Gifts

This one's the best plan for you... No charges for roaming outside of your neighborhood and if you do lots of tricks, it includes over 1,000 sit, stay and rollover minutes.

"You want me to sit down for this news? I haven't learned to do that yet."

"You call it training, I call it an apprenticeship. Now pay up."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'We're half way through teaching her to roll over.'

"Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnyvale Dog Obedience School?"

Vets Waiting Room

"C'mon - I don't want to do this anymore, please - com'on - please!"

"Roll over ... "

'He's a big boy- why can't he go for a walk by himself!'

'He's not in right now. But I'll tell him you called if you promise to give a little treat.'

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

Dogs Bring Slippers.

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"Never bite the hand that feeds you. Ankles and toes are fine."

'Stop! Heel! Sit!!!'

'Forget about your pride Son: We're expected to beg...'

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

Puppy puts deodorant on the slippers.

Remember, he's simple - It's not WHAT you bark at him, it's the TONE you use when you bark at him.

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Dog Magic Tricks

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'