Pup Trainer Gifts

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'Bert's dog training.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Pavlov's Puppy

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Don't even think about it."

"Not a bad list kiddo, but I know them all! I've told you it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks..."

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"