Pup Therapist Gifts

"God, they're needy."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Pavlov's Puppy

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

Dogs Bring Slippers.

So You Finally Caught Your Tail

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"I'm referring you to another therapy dog."

Pat My Dog $5

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Four Star Meal

'It's good to talk.'