Doggie Therapist Gifts

"They think they're accidents."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

So You Finally Caught Your Tail

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

'Animal Psychiatrist' (a dog).

"I'm referring you to another therapy dog."

Pat My Dog $5

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

"Cat got your tongue?"

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

'It's good to talk.'

'Now tell me about your puppyhood.'

'See what I mean, Doc?'