Canine Therapist Gifts

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

Mixed Emotions Poodle

"I bark a lot, sure. But it's not like I couldn't quit if I really wanted to."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

So You Finally Caught Your Tail

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"Cat got your tongue?"

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"