Doggie Therapist Pillows

"They think they're accidents."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Have you tried biting him?"

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

So You Finally Caught Your Tail

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"Cat got your tongue?"

'Animal Psychiatrist' (a dog).

Pat My Dog $5

"I'm referring you to another therapy dog."

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

'It's good to talk.'

'See what I mean, Doc?'

'Now tell me about your puppyhood.'

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'