Dog Psychotherapist Pillows

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"Meow."

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Actually I never loved you."

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'