Dog Psychiatrists Pillows

I'll bark, and you bark the first thing that comes to mine.'

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Have you tried biting him?"

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

"Meow."

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

"Actually I never loved you."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

The brain of a dog.

"He's sending an instant message."

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

"Stupid obedience school. As if we don't want to learn physics or computer science or something."