Canine Psychologists Pillows

Beware of the Reformed Character: ' ... by this point I realised that I was carrying a lot of anger around and I needed to address that, so ...'

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Dog Nightmares

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Canine Scentipede

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"Meow."

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"Actually I never loved you."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

The brain of a dog.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'