Pet Psychologist Pillows

"Meow."

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

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Parrot to owner: 'The cracker is fine, but will it satisfy my emotional needs?'

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

"Well, I still don't believe you're a bad dog. I think you're just searching for something. A lost bone perhaps."

'OK, Mr. Altruism, real fast, name three selling points of loyalty that don't involve food.'

'We were arguing, and I said, 'OK, Man's Best Friend, name just ONE aspect of canine loyalty that DOESN'T revolve around food. Next thing I know, we've got a full-blown existential crisis in progress here.'

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

Man Bites Dog...

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

Mixed Emotions Poodle

Freudian Slip - Bow Meow.

The brain of a dog.

'You don't think less of me because I wear a flea collar do you?'

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

'Your issues with Steve must go deeper than faking to throw sticks.'

"It's not about the cat door, is it? It's a 'who is the pet and who is the owner' thing..."

I talk to cats - "What have you been doing?" "Acting Mad."

"I think what Polly really want is approval."

"'Bad dog, bad dog,' she said. 'We should have gotten a cat."

Doggy Fireworks

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

"Sometimes, when I'm upset with her, I'll have a 'quote; accident 'unquote'."

'You're very narcissistic.'

Beware - Dog with Unhappy Childhood.

'Maybe now you'll quit complaining we never go anywhere!'

'I keep barking up the wrong tree.'

'The animal psychiatrist said don't bother him with dog things- he doesn't know he's a dog!'

'You worry too much!'

Blinking contest between dog and cat.

"I used to bully him until one day we were both standing in front of a mirror and I saw the size difference. Luckily, patience and forgiveness are two of his qualities."

"What is it about my being a dog that makes you uncomfortable?"