Pet Psychology Pro Pillows

'That's the last time I trust you to train the dog!'

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

Dog Nightmares

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Depressed? No doubt. Overwhelmed? Obviously. Crazy? I don't think so."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Meow."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Welcome to pet obedience school. We're going to have fun and get these darlings into shape. Obey-Wan-Ken

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

"Actually I never loved you."

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."