Pet Parenting Pro Pillows

"Depressed? No doubt. Overwhelmed? Obviously. Crazy? I don't think so."

'The good news is that you don't have apnea. The bad news is that Fluffy sleeps on your face.'

That'll teach you to chase cars!'

'Just jam one of these capsules as far down his throat as you can... WHEN you can... and IF you can.'

"I feed the cat nothing but veggies."

"I strongly suggest that you reinvent yourself!"

"Oh, I'll eat it, but I sure as heck won't wag my tail..."

"You may lick my feet. You may not suck my toes."

"Mrs. Tibbles, the vet will see you now."

'Tell you what I'll do, Mrs. Farthingwaste...'

'Do you have to interrupt at a time like this?'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

They couldn't put their paw on it, but something about today seemed different...

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"What's worse, that or this?"

"You're right, it really is windy."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"They grow up so fast."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Why do they do that?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

The Baby Walker

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."