Pet Psychology Buff Pillows

"I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Put the tree down, Bob. We’ll go for a walk after you shower."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Have you tried biting him?"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"Meow."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"Actually I never loved you."

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

The brain of a dog.

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"He's sending an instant message."

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

"Wag your tail just once when I come home. You miserable dog!"

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."