Canine Psychology Enthusiast Pillows

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

Dog Nightmares

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

Dog phrenology

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

Dog History

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Don't worry, we'll soon have you barking sane.'

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

"I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god."

'…and so you see your unfulfilled hopes and ambitions in the form of the mailman.'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Belly rubs are a gateway activity that leads to chasing bunnies and fetching frisbees."

"I, for one, refuse to just sit at the door pining for his return."

"It's not that you ate the sirloin tips. It's the lying."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

'And how long do you think you may have had OCD?'

'After years of trying, he caught his tail.'

"It hurts when I wag my tail – but I'm not sure if the pain is mental or physical."

"We laugh, but it's a mirthless laugh."

"I think I'm a big dog."

'It's probably your own fear of inadequacy.'

'Do you think I over-praised Marmaduke for fetching the paper?'

Doug always circled around four or five times before lying down to sleep.

Barking Today - 'I always bark for no reason whatever.'

Anatomy Of A Dog's Brain

"Penny, what is that scent you have on? I must know." "Don't you just love it, Lucy? It's dead rat."

Doggy Peer Pressure

"You're the one with the fancy forensic psychology degree; you tell me which one of them did it."

"If you eat the homework, but then spit it out, are you still a bad dog?"

"I believe in unconditional love—except for the mailman."