Pulitzer Hopeful Gifts

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"Right here's the problem, apparently you have a novel in you"

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

'Wow! no doubt about it son!...You'll grow up to be President of the United States!'

'On Company Time: A Novel'

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"I fell I have a great novel me."

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

'I figured if you liked the first paragraph I'd go ahead and finish the book.'

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'