Aspiring Nobel Laureate Gifts

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'Great job, honey -- maybe next you'll win the Nobel Prize for Literature!'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"What made you start blogging about success?"

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

"Right here's the problem, apparently you have a novel in you"

'I found this copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' under his mattress!'

'On Company Time: A Novel'

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."