Nobel Prize Aficionado Gifts

Saul Bellow

George Bernard Shaw

Ivan Bunin

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

Seamus Heaney

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

W. B. Yeats

Museum of Art and Science. Monet. "Claude Monet, the father of impressionism, was a master of light. He sometimes painted in series, showing the passage of time with evolving sunlight and shadows." Einstein. "Albert Einstein won a Nobel Prize in Physics for his work in the dual nature of light, behaving like both a wave and a particle, and how this duality explains the photoelectric effect." I love that! Even though Einstein and Monet both worked with light, the only thing their work has

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

HornyWood

'And now the award for the best product placement in a motion picture...'

A woman bows to the crowd

BAFTA/Oscar lack of diversity

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

"He had a few drinks while planning where to meet for a drink before the pre-award drinks"

"Has anybody seen my old friend Nelson?"

Red Carpet

"And the Oscar for best wardrobe in a film based on a 17th century picaresque novel goes to..."

The Oscars

"I won it for being lice-free."

"This won best award show last year."

Will Smith's Oscar

Trophy Hunters

"The Academy aint gonna like that... that slap will resound around the whole world!"

'For your superb management of hell on earth."