Nobel Hopeful Gifts

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

Museum of Art and Science. Monet. "Claude Monet, the father of impressionism, was a master of light. He sometimes painted in series, showing the passage of time with evolving sunlight and shadows." Einstein. "Albert Einstein won a Nobel Prize in Physics for his work in the dual nature of light, behaving like both a wave and a particle, and how this duality explains the photoelectric effect." I love that! Even though Einstein and Monet both worked with light, the only thing their work has

Honorable mention in science: the Nobel surprise.

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"Tee hee. . . Turner Prize here I come. . .!"

Ivan Bunin

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...Danae heard about Mark Twain's autobiography being published 100 years after his death and it gave her an idea to take it a step further...'

"Flossie is as pleased as I am about producing this new vaccine, and we are both proud to accept the Nobel Prize."

Saul Bellow

'You're looking for someone to play the part of a washed-up, hammy actor?... Hold on, I have someone here who could've been born for the part.'

J. M. Coetzee

'Camilo José Cela'

'My story? I was phoning my boss when I thought the sweepstake's people were at my door and I told him to take his job and shove it.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'You should have come to me sooner. I might have won a Nobel Prize for this.'

William Golding

"Why are you playing out in your nativity play costume, son?"

Aung San Suu Kyi

"The first half of my life I waited for Hollywood to call. Now, ironically enough, I'm Hollywood and I can call people."

'Great job, honey -- maybe next you'll win the Nobel Prize for Literature!'

"Tonight's lotto numbers are..."

'Since a couple of physicists won our Nobel Prize, we ought to go out there and win the biology.'

James Chadwick

Research Hand Signals

'Oooh watch your step, that's my Nobel Prize. I wonder how it got down there, crazy Nobel Prize.... Nobel Prize.'

"I don't know what I want to do for my science project. I was thinking of trying to cure something."