Presidential Hopeful Gifts

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a business owner, or president, or the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer!"

'Wow! no doubt about it son!...You'll grow up to be President of the United States!'

'My life goals? Well, right now it's a toss-up between being president or a corporate raider...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"I don't like your application."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

Running for Congress

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

"Progress is coming right along!"

'Just thirty-five years until I can run for office!'

Bureaucratic Position Interview

"I'm thinking of getting into office politics."

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

I'm freaking out! Thursday is dress rehearsal. Nerves? Work! I've got a math and history test on Friday. Why did I ever sign up for the spring musical? Because it's fun? West Fester High School. On my college application it'll look like I had fun. It'll go with your "Looks aren't important" essay.

'With the deficit and spending bills constantly threatening to close it...the sign shows the current status of Congress.'

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

Drinks cabinet meeting

"I'll just mow the lawn then I'll put myself forward to lead the Conservatives."

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

Hillary Clinton

'Our super PAC will finance candidates who specifically run against super PACs.'

Bernie Sanders

'The greenest government ever?'

"Honk If You're Running For Governor!

"Eat your borscht. Don't you want to be President of the Soviet Union when you grow up?"

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

Thanks to my wife for her unstinting Support

'I'm considering a run for class president. Do we have any skeletons in our closet I should first know about?'

'Abortion is such an ugly word -- think of it as 'birth annulment.''

"Was that your first foray into politics?"

Vote for Scnible: 'Of course I'm depressed. All the good campaign promises have already been made!'

'Abortion is such an ugly word -- think of it as 'birth annulment.''