Publishing Aficionado Gifts

Jonah's editor.

Editor.

"Dear Author: Your novel is incomparably brilliant! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for incomparably brilliant novels at this time."

"Legal is concerned you made up your 'True Life' adventures."

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'Your proposed novel isn't quite right for us...but have you tried the trash bin down the street?'

'I've been working on this novel since I was 10 years old.'

Literary Advice

"I think we'll put it out as a self-help guide."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Meet The Author"

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Edgar Allen Poe

Thomas Mann.

Victor Hugo

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Gunter Grass

Iris Murdoch

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Stephen Spender.

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Günter Grass