Publishing Industry Aficionado Gifts

"One of you shall betray me - Four of you shall get book deals."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Meet The Author"

Victor Hugo

Reading my Critics

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'According to this, you owe $57.32 in late fees for the book 'Getting By on a Shoestring Budget'.'

Editor.

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Dip Pen

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Meet the author

"You'd be angry, too, if your alter ego was a successful physician."

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"There goes our early night."

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'