Publication Enthusiasts Gifts

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Victor Hugo

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

Reading my Critics

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Iris Murdoch

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

'He was a great writer'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

My Literary Influences

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'