Publication Enthusiast Gifts

Struggling Scientist, Please cite my papers.

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it for free on our website."

"Why, you plagiarized this from our best-selling book 'How to write a good resume'!"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Meet The Author"

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

First Novels.

Victor Hugo

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Reading my Critics

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

Voltaire

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'He likes to power nap.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Television Readers.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Silence of the Chickens...

John Bunyan

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"