Book Enthusiast Gifts

"Doctor Jekyll and Doctor Hyde."

"No, I don't have a scanner you can borrow."

"I like it - it's wonderfully editable."

At here weekly book club meeting, Donna is, again, embarrassed by the inability to control her bladder.

'Oh yes we're very proud of him. He's in publishing you know!'

'I figured if you liked the first paragraph I'd go ahead and finish the book.'

'Yes, I received the review copy of 'Running a School is a Snap' that you sent. I found it to be a very useful book.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

Hardy gets writers block...

'It's called 'wild suburban sex orgies', but thats just for marketing...its actually about 17th century basket weaving'

"Do you have 'Intelligence for Idiots'?"

Reading my Critics

'About half the students increased speed and lost some comprehension. The other half increased comprehension but lost some speed.'

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

Large book is labelled 'What Women Want' and much thinner book is labelled 'What Men Want'.

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

At last, he was able to plug into the distribution network of a major publisher.

One student: 'It's been awhile since I last read a book.' The other student: 'What's a book?'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

silence please

Deep fat fryar

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

'Well at least Gavin was learning a valuable skill.'

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

I only have one copy of my book left.

Vanity Publishing - The customer is always write

'Good news and bad. Your novel sticks but we'll publish it because stupid drivel sells.'

"So what do you do?" "I'm a writer." "No I mean what do you do for money?"

3:00 pm - Meet the author

The following blank screen is brought to you by the Booksellers of America.

"I try to write a little bit every day."

"I thought it was pretty good, for a book."

World of Insurance

'Today's film is called 'Why Reading is Important'.'