Literature Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

"Remember, now-you're sense, I'm sensibility."

'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'

Alice in Badassland

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

How long am I going to be waiting?

"It was the best of Starbucks. It was the worst of Starbucks."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

A woman has an "A+" scarlet letter.

'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself while both hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

"Oohh! Doctor Jekyll, you've been drinking again."

The Railway Children - Still waiting

''It was the best of times, it was the worst of times'...does that mean accountants cooked the books?'

Additions to the Rainbow Curriculum

'How's the novel coming along?'

'Charlotte's web-cam'

"I procure considerable gratification from belles-lettres."

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

Sex Section in the Library

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

Mopey Dick.

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

'Some people just can't take criticism!'

Man reading a giant book.

A Heavenly Sight (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Prison Library - Who's Who Who's Incarcerated.

Hansel and Grendel

"Have you tried looking in the ocean?"

A visit from the ghost of Christmas parties.

"I told you War And Peace was a bad beach read."