Literature Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

"Remember, now-you're sense, I'm sensibility."

'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'

Alice in Badassland

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

"I'd appreciate it if you'd wait until school to do that. We've worked long and hard to bring you state-of-the-art home theater."

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

How long am I going to be waiting?

"It was the best of Starbucks. It was the worst of Starbucks."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

A woman has an "A+" scarlet letter.

'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself while both hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

"Oohh! Doctor Jekyll, you've been drinking again."

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

The Railway Children - Still waiting

''It was the best of times, it was the worst of times'...does that mean accountants cooked the books?'

Additions to the Rainbow Curriculum

'Charlotte's web-cam'

"I procure considerable gratification from belles-lettres."

'How's the novel coming along?'

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

'Some people just can't take criticism!'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

Sex Section in the Library

A Heavenly Sight (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

Man reading a giant book.

Mopey Dick.

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Benjamin Disraeli

'My name is Dr Jeykell and I have a small drink problem...'

"Have you tried looking in the ocean?"

Illustration to 'Charles Dickens at Gadshill'.

Head full of Books.