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Jonah's editor.

Editor.

"Dear Author: Your novel is incomparably brilliant! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for incomparably brilliant novels at this time."

"Legal is concerned you made up your 'True Life' adventures."

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'Your proposed novel isn't quite right for us...but have you tried the trash bin down the street?'

'I've been working on this novel since I was 10 years old.'

Literary Advice

"I think we'll put it out as a self-help guide."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Meet The Author"

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

Edgar Allen Poe

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Television Readers.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."