Pub Goers Gifts

"You're not from around here are you?"

"The Bells, The Bells."

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

The vuvuzelas also came in handy after the tournament.

"I'm all for taking away the darts and giving him back his car keys."

Swan Inn: No children or men in lycra

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on the town together.

Divorce as a cure for earache

"It's very convenient." - The 'must have' for a knight in the pub.

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"I'm all over the Internet, so why hide? I might as well come out and enjoy myself."

"Do I have to take sides between Ed Koch and Donald Trump?"

"You wouldn't hit a man with glasses..?"

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

'I told you smokefree bars wouldn't be the end of it!'

Gord of the Rings

'What do we do now? He was our designated driver?'

How to get past the smoking ban in pubs.

We aren't talking about you --- I said "ribbit"!

Updated Idioms. Everybody stay calm! We're not Googling trouble here!

'Not only won't she go out with me, she turned me down with a form letter.'

'Shirt and shoes required. No tank tops.'

"You're not from around here, are you?"

'Fancy relocating to the pub for a couple of hours?'

'Apparently his mate is really well hung.'

Celebrity anagrams: Drab Ian's bar row (Answer: Barbara Windsor.)

"This place has the best happy hour."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"It feels good to unwind..."

Beers

'I know it's gassy...'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

City Boy.