Bar Goers Gifts

"Tell him to fetch his own damn slippers."

At the flies' bar: 'When I was a young maggot, I dreamed of becoming an Airbus!'

"I'm feeling frisky, Babe... I hope you carry protection."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"It feels good to unwind..."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Watching the football.

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

His & hers towels.

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

Dog Bar with Toilets.

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"Me too! Let's get some beers!"

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

Ostrich Bar

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"