Bar Goer Gifts

'Look, I don't want any funny business.'

"Being an accountant gives him that extra aura of danger."

"What the...some jerk licked the salt off all these pretzels."

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

'They're discussing which is more effective - pepper spray or mace...'

"Oh, c'mon! So I'm not a bald eagle - everyone lies in their dating profile!"

"I've decided not to have children. My wife and kids are furious."

"Got to change my belch ringtone... I keep thinking I'm getting a call."

'Are you a virgin?' - 'Of course I am, ask anybody.'

'One door closed, another opened, and I fell right out the window.'

'Strange, how women always have to go to the ladies' room in pears.'

'Nothing on the sign says I have to have a person with me.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Fireman attempts to rescue trapped children from pub foot rail

Waterhole bar and grill...Sorry, closed due to drought.

'I've had it too... 'RUN'!'

Happy Hour 6-7. Hey! Everybody knows that happy hour lasts two hours

Bar. Don’t apologize for calling me a porpoise … Heck, I thought you were a crocodile!

You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? It's an emergency, Doctor Randy! I see a beautiful, sexy, confident, smiling lady at the end of the bar. Hold on, she … yeah she totally just looked at me. What do I do? Absolutely nothing. It took you 6.2 seconds to tell me she looked at you and to ask me what you should do about it. My exhaustive research has proven a man has only six seconds to respond affirmatively to a look of interest. After that, he'll either lose his nerve or whatever

I will not hoot. I will hot hoot. I will not hoot.

"Now that you mention it, Alan, Yes, you are chopped liver."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"It feels good to unwind..."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Watching the football.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Dog Bar with Toilets.