Classic Bar-goer Gifts

…So we finally got women to stare at us…now what?... E. A. N. B. Q. R. T. L.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"It feels good to unwind..."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

Dog Bar with Toilets.

Last Chance For Reality

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"You're talking politics? Take it outside or online, but not here!"

Wine at the Bar

'How about a nice saloon?'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Me too! Let's get some beers!"

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"