Classic Drinker Gifts

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Happy Hour

"An everything Martini, please."

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

C Day Lewis.

Bleak House

'Tweet me when I'm flagged...hashtag 'drunk'.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"I rescued him from a tree four years ago — still remembers me."

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I think I know where you're going with this: Yes, he was talking about happy hour.

'It's a taste I think I can say I've acquired.'

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

Beauty shop

'It's from the local microbrewery.'

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."