Bar-going Gifts

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Beer Stall

Best Before 5th Pint.

Dolphin friendly tuna

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Just the one...

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Watching the football.

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

Next Round Indicator

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'