Bar Hopping Gifts

'They've set the bar too high!'

"I don't want stock options. I want you to pay your tab."

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'Boozer's Week.'

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Another Ahab?'

'Pint of Binge, please. . .'

How can you tell it's a gay pub?

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

'Well, you DO have free will... you just choose to be a fatalist.'

'Do you ever worry about getting the D.T.'s?'

'When I drink, I don't drive. I stay right here where it's safe and cozy.'

"O.K., Let's try this scenario..."

"I was sleepless once, but it was in Omaha."

Enemies of Bill W. Pub

British Drinking Culture.

Butterflies entering a Butterly collectors bar - "...stay calm, act natural, just try to blend in."

Troublemakers Bar - 'St,,,stirred, not shaken,'

'No, I'm not here to grant your wishes. I'm here to tell you that you've had way too much to drink and you're starting to hallucinate!'

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'It's a new government-approved beer glass to prevent binge drinking.'

"C'mon - drink up Dr. Watson. . . don't you have a Holmes to go to?"

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"I had a bit of 'slap 'n' tickle' with her last night. I tickled her and she slapped me."

Just the one...

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Wow, interactive people"

"Ambitions... to receive the MBE for services to the brewing industry."

"Long time no see, Mr. Jimmy. I understand congratulations are in order on your recent engagement, wedding and divorce."

I'm not here.

"Hey, you! Wanna be my best friend?"

"Who you calling a candyass?"

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."