Bar-hopping Enthusiast Gifts

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Beer Stall

Best Before 5th Pint.

Dolphin friendly tuna

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Just the one...

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

Last Chance For Reality

Next Round Indicator

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.